Trust

TRUST... what is the meaning of this word, you may ask... According to merriam-webster.com dictionary, trust means assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. In other words, it means to believe that (someone) is honest.

In a relationship, trust is the most important aspect between both parties. It is the foundation to a successful relationship.

What is the meaning of being with someone when you can't even trust them and both of you are living with lies all around you? What is the point then of being together? What is the point when everytime you are not with him your mind keeps wondering whether is he cheating on you... or whenever his phone rings you wonder is it from another woman and if he's flirting with her? Bad images keep creeping into your mind and all the negativity you would feel towards the relationship... but how can you trust a person when lies are being told again and again?

Would you forgive that person if he had betrayed your trust? Would you give him another chance if he said he was sorry? How would you know he would never do that same thing again? Even if you had forgiven him, would you ever forget about his wrong doings? Your mind will always wonder would he do it again and you may end up do stuffs you would never do for example checking on him and stuffs like that...

Trust is an important issue cause it could make or break a relationship. If you could never trust that person again then it is hard for you to go on with your life with him/her. It is only when you could get pass this point then there is a possibility that the relationship could survive... But however, what have the person that betrayed your trust done after he had said sorry and never to do it again? Has he really change? Has he been treating you better? What about your daily conversation? Do you feel he is keeping stuffs from you? How if you found out that he has betrayed your trust again? Then what? Then how? What will you do now?

A person who has done something bad or something wrong to you will always make you feel bad... They know they have done something wrong so they try to pass the blame on you and make as if it is your mistake... For example, when your boyfriend didn't answers your calls and you were worried sick about him, calls you back like 5 hours later, you asked him where he went and instead of him telling you, he started shouting at you... saying you were checking on him and stuffs like that... so instead of you getting mad at him, it is him who are mad at you.. and stupidly you will try to apologize and then you will forget about the whole matter and he gets off the hock!!! My meaning is, what is the big fuss of telling your girlfriend where you went or with whom you are with if there is nothing going on... it is only when you have something up your sleeves and you are hiding something wrong (such as flirting around) from your girlfriend which makes you react this way... someone who is righteous would never react this way as there is nothing to be afraid of and to tell the truth...

Trust is hard to earn back once that trust is broken... it may take years before a person can truly trust again... Therefore, telling the truth is critically important if you ever hope to rebuild trust... The truth will always comes out somehow and in some way... Remember this : Everything happens for a reason...

The Purpose Driven Life

Don't date because you are desperate.

Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals. Don't stagnate.!
Don't regress.

Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr / Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won.
Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.

Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.

You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU. It is true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.

Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions. Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.

Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.

- Rick Warren -

Violence against women

We all heard and know about the recent tragedy news of Chris Brown beating up Rihanna which caused severe swelling and several bruises on Rihanna's face. Pictures of her injury are circulating on the web showing her eyes closed, two contusions on each side of her forehead, bruises over each of her eyes, swollen lips and lacerations on her face.

There are a lot of opinions on this issue, some supporting Chris Brown and some supporting Rihanna. And according to the latest updates, Chris Brown is fearing for his security and his life as he is a marked man. He faces criminal charges and possible jail time, but he’s going to have to deal with Rihanna’s legion of fans and her close-knit friends in the industry. And now he is apologizing for his actions? Come on man, you should have thought about your actions before you lay your hands on her... don't you think it's a little bit too late for apology now that damage have been done? He should have known better since he himself have experienced domestic violence in his family when seeing his mother allegedly being beaten by his stepfather.... In an interview, he talked about his hatred for his stepfather and said, "I used to always feel the hate for anybody that disrespected a lady. Or called a lady the B-word ... or just disrespected her." So why is he repeating history himself??? What about the quote he said before???

We can learn or relate a thing or two about the episode I watched on Desperate Housewives the other day, and there is a part where Susan's son was bullied by Gabrielle's bigger size daughter. And Susan wanted Mike and her boyfriend to teach her son to fight in order to defend himself. At first both guys were willing to teach her son but when they both found out that the reason Susan asked them to teach his son is because to fight against Gabrielle's daughter which is a girl, they said NO. Cause they said they would never hit a woman and they would never teach the younger generations to hit a woman either.

I don't understand how some women can tolerate being abused like this... Some even assume it's their fate being in this situation and just sit back and take everything in. Some even lie and cover up for their husband/boyfriend to their friends and relatives when they see bruises on them... Okay... you may say that you love this person very much but I am pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way... A person who loves you will never cause you any pain physically or emotionally.

Take a look at Rihanna, for example, she is a pretty girl and can have any man she wants, but yet she's willing to accept this kind of behaviour from a boyfriend and now there are rumours that she's back with Chris Brown. Come on, what's wrong with women? Why would you sit back and accept abuse from someone, that’s something I’ll never understand. Would the guy repeat his actions again if he apologises? How many times would you need to suffer for you to wake up to reality?

There are a lot of support groups out there trying to help out these poor women and in most countries there are laws protecting these women... We may also heard over the radio on the advertisement/awareness program about violence against women... Therefore, women should not be afraid to stand up for themselves and fight for their rights!!! In an argument no matter who is right and who is wrong, no one deserves to be abused... words should be use instead of violence...

Last but not least, in my opinion, a man should never hit a woman. NEVER!!!

You can easily look up and refer to this website for more information about violence against women: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_against_women

Why do men cheat

Why do men cheat? Why are men unfaithful? Can infidelity be prevented? Can a wife single-handedly ensure that her husband won't stray? Do a man's friends have anything to do with his willingness to cheat?

Some guys say it's because they are not satisfied with their partner... always nagging them and stuffs like that... some guys would say it's just a fling or pleasure, nothing serious or maybe the other girl are much more prettier and more attractive... but is it really true? The question of why men cheat and whether it is because of sexual dissatisfaction, emotional dissatisfaction, or something else has remained largely unexamined... but still, in my opinion whatever the reason is, it does not give the man the right to cheat...

Cheating always starts from nothing... a simple friendship can turn into something and that something might be something terrible... This is how it always works: first, you meet the girl... then you start to slowly talk to her and start a conversation... then phone calls and sms keep becoming more frequent... then you start to go out together in a group... then it become an outing just the 2 of you... then the next thing you know you are holding her hand, kissing her and making out... (it is perfectly okay and a green light for you to go ahead but what if you are seeing somebody else or married? This is where cheating comes in to the relationship...).By then your wife or girlfriend, who knows nothing about this secret relationship or affair starts suspecting something is wrong (girls always have the best instinct when something is amiss)... of course she would ask you about it and then sure enough 100% you would deny about it... who would admit they are cheating in the first place? Unless evidence are being proven till there is nothing more to say and by then it will be the end of the relationship... of course in some relationships, the girl (girls are always soft hearted and more forgiving) would stupidly forgive and accept the man back hoping he would change for the good... but would he?

I personally really don't understand why do man have to cheat... You can see on the Sunday Star newspaper in the Thelma section woman keep writing about how their husband of so many years or boyfriends cheats on them and seeking for advices... Don't the man think of their love ones (wife, girlfriends or even their kids) when they cheat or out flirting with another woman? When he holds her hand or even kisses her, doesn't the image of their girlfriend/wife flashes before them? How can these men even have the thought of even cheating behind their back? Can't these men control their own feelings and urges? What if it is their partners who are cheating behind their back? How would these men feel then?

However, some guys would feel guilty after cheating on their partners, but what is the point then? They should have thought about it first before committing to this sinful act... Relationships and families are ruin because of it... A good relationship would break up, families get divorce and children would suffer the most...

Friend's influence are another reason why men would cheat... Encouragements and supports being given by their friends energizes a man's spirit to go ahead with their cheating acts... Going to prostitute places, seeking China Dolls and so on... These friends would never know the depth of a relationship that are being shared by you and your partner but for some guys in order to show to their friends that they are the MAN or to safe their face, they would go ahead with it... And I tell you these friends are stupid asshole friends and must be avoided at all cost...BETRAYAL is the word... how could you ever trust the man again? Can you ever trust them back even if they apologize to you and promise this will not happen again? You can forgive but can you ever forget? All the emotional torture that you have to go through... you can't eat and can't sleep and everything seems to be wrong for you when you knew your man is out there cheating with another woman... do these men even know or understand what you have to go through knowing someone you really love and care about had betrayed your love and trust?

What do crosses the man's mind when they do decide to cheat? Is it just for the sake of pleasure? Just for the sake of knowing that they still are capable of attracting the opposite sex? Just to know that they still have the skill to lure other woman? I really don't know and I object to whatever nonsense excuse that would be given by them...

Why can't men commit to just one woman? Where is the meaning of true love? What is the meaning of 'LOVE' then? How about fairy tales that says happily ever after? You don't see fairy tales prince charming cheating on the princesses... Where has all the loyalty and truthfulness in this world gone to? What happened to all the promises that were made when they are together? What about all the passions and happiness that used to share between them? Have it all been forgotten?

Relationships are supposed to be based on the truth and honesty... Why do you have to be attached to somebody if you always have the intentions of cheating behind them? Why don't you be single and alone and then go and flirt with as many girls as you want? Why makes this particular girl miserable with you? If you don't love her anymore then tell her... why drag her around like she's nothing... why don't you release her so that she can find someone else better, who deserves her love and who wants to spend the rest of his life with her and loving her...

The right thing to do (and the gentleman's way) is to always settle the present relationship first before you start another new relationship... Cheating can shatter trust and breed insecurity and resentment from which some relationships never recover... 

So girls, before you commit yourself to someone, open your eyes wide and see... cause once a cheater, always a cheater... if he could cheat behind his wife or his girlfriend's back to be with you, someday and most probably he will cheat behind your back with someone else...